deleted.

4:30am

coughing and my right foot is hurting. drinking some tea, which is helping my throat but the foot is an ever present reminder of how much i've let myself go. I can't even walk from the class building to my car in the parking lot across the street, without taking a couple of breaks.

something has to be done.

had yet another heartbreak saturday. been waiting on randy to decide about vampire. asked him a few months back if we could at least do that, since it didn't require anyone else. he said he was busy and if i found someone else, he'd be interested. enter stage left, chris. we've got a character made, and while waiting on his decision...i discover that not only is he playing dnd with them, he's also playing vampire.

something has to be done.

i don't know why i kept going to her twitter page. curiosity? glutton for punishment? could be that i partly miss her, and looking to rekindle the anger to overcome any weakness in resolve. i deleted the link.

twatting

Carpet's pulled in dining room, and floor stripped. Chris is going to sand the floor and then we'll varnish. It's going to be so pretty, not to mention smell way better.

It's driving me crazy that all of my furniture is in the living room though. couple that with my transition back to school, adjustment to a new roomie and there's a recipe for disaster.

...now, my roomie. He's a 27 yr old that know's it all. He claims to have an iq over mensa standards, a photographic memory and can fix anything, but his car still isn't fixed, can't remember to turn lights out and get's distracted when his phone tweets.

I'm already inclined to detest anyone that states how good they are at anything, much less doing the whole Twatting thing.

interesting times

last night of freedom

Last night of freedom spent moving furniture so increasingly irritating roommate can pull carpet tomorrow and start to redo floor. So far I've little faith in his abilities, as his car still isn't running, and he's forgetful of many things.

We almost got in a real argument today. He's very contrary on everything I say; it's almost like talking to john. Speaking of which, he's been helping me with my car alot lately, and his wife is getting mad I'm not paying him for each 'house call' Maybe that's because I paid the first time and expected it to be done correctly then.

I've got a bit of an attitude due to roomie's straight bitchiness and some of the bullshit I've had to deal with this week.

Speech Class tomorrow.

nostalgia

I got accepted into the accelerated program at Ivy Tech; I just hope money works out so I can complete it. I've had car issues this past few days, to which John, my beloved John, came to the rescue yet again.

Sometimes, when I let the anger go, and I'm sitting alone on a morning such as this, I think about him. How we were then, and I miss him. I'll never be completely out of love with him.

I haven't seen Randy in over a month.

I've got a new friend/roomie named Chris. He can be annoying, and annoyingly funny.

big changes.

Big Changes

Sitting here in the vending area of Ivy Tech waiting for my testing to commence. Just met with Chris, my soon to be roomie. He's pretty cool, has a lot of qualities I find, um....interesting in guy; pray for me.

My money shituation has calmed down a bit, dare I say things are looking brighter withing tempting the deities that be to punish my offense of optimism?

It's been really hot lately, like record hot. My poor AC unit is working it's ass off. My house hasn't been this clean in years. And to get it that way, well, let's just say I'm scarred enough it won't happen again.

Randy and I talk occasionally, but still have not met. I can accept that our friendship is fading now. We'll continue for awhile, but then the calls/text will more sporadic, then we'll maybe meet once around the holidays and then no more. My cyber stalking KT has dwindled, no longer interested in what she's doing. Whenever I feel the pain of missing her, I remind myself what she did and it fades. I know there's more that went on than I know because randy still hasn't invited me over to his house. Thouse okay, my regards to them all.

Hmmm...five minutes til check in time, and now my stomach want's to growl. I've only got 20's or I'd buy something from the vending machine.

For the first time in a very, very long time. I'm .... feeling happy.

the person I can be.

Well, I'm halfway through this process to get back in school. Thus far I've completed the drug test, the first of three placement tests, and two of the three interviews. I have a more comprehensive placement test on Friday and have been studying for the math portion...ahhh. Pemdas memories.

After I receive my scores, the last that I now of, is to do this boot camp thing kinda like American Idol. There are only 20 positions but about 40 of us vying for a place. I hope I do well.

Been kinda worried about money as i'm behind in house payments. But I've got a couple of plans in the works that will help me with that. One of which is getting another roomie.

Aside from that, trying to get through the hottest summer in a hundred years, dealing with anger and resentment of my lost friends, and trying to be the best person I can be.