Sunday, October 21, 2012

peaks and valleys

Kiss me kiss me kiss me
Your tongue is like poison
So swollen it fills up my mouth

We're his parent's basement. The walls white, unfinished.  Everywhere the clutter of a childhood playroom I  always longed to have. Remnants discarded, forgotten.  There's an atari, several star wars figures,...and games.  Lots of board games for a large family.

We're not children anymore.  In fact, I'm almost 10 years older than you. We get the tour of your childhood play area, and I long to feel your touch.  But you're just another straight, married friend of mine, even though you flirt like crazy.  Like the last one.

Love me love me love me
You nail me to the floor
And push my guts all inside out

I say something inappropriate, and your friends, offended....move away.  The look in your face imparts the embarrassment felt. You feign a smile, try to alleviate  my anxiety.  How I wish you were mine.

Then you rush me.  Kiss me.  I'm surprised as I know it's a dream, but I still do no waken.  You're strong arms around me, hot breath on my face.  I look upon your face, so close to mine. I die.

Get it out get it out get it out
Get your fucking voice
Out of my head

So now, I'm left in the aftermath of a non-existent dream kiss and feeling old, alone and unknown.  After the game friday, I was invited to go drinking with the gang, but I declined. Erick asked me where my coat was, and I replied it was in my car.

"I'll warm you up" he says.