my beloved

It's colder than before
The seasons took all they had come for
Now winter dances here,
It seems so fitting don’t you think,
to dress the ground in white and grey?

It's so quiet I can hear my thoughts touching every second
That I spent waiting for you,
Circumstances afford me no second chance
to tell you how much I’ve missed you.

My Beloved do you know,
when the warm wind comes again
another year will start to pass
And please don’t ask me why I’m here.
Something deeper brought me than a need to remember

We were once young and blessed with wings
No heights could keep us from their reach
No sacred place we did not soar
Still, greater things burned within us
I don’t regret the choices that I’ve made
I know you feel the same.

My beloved do you know how many times I stared at clounds
Thinking that I saw you there.
These are feelings that do not pass so easily
I can’t forget what we claimed as ours
Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains, no feelings
Eternity awaits.

Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains, no feelings
Eternity awaits

you

need you

dream you

find you
taste you
use you
scar you
fuck you
break you

need you
dream you
find you
taste you
use you
scar you
fuck you
break you

...

If only tonight we could sleep
In a bed made of flowers
If only tonight we could fall
In a deathless spell

If only tonight we could slide
Into deep black water
And breathe
And breathe...

Then an angel would come
With burning eyes like stars
And bury us deep
In his velvet arms

And the rain would cry
As our faces slipped away
And the rain would cry

Don't let it end...

how can they be so sweet?

at this moment, I could tell them all to fuck off. I'm so sick of people fucking with my head. Even moreso, I'm sick of allowing it to continue.

Guys....suck. Always making me think there's more to it than what really is. I'm so tired of being so accomodating. This entire weekend as been spent in selfish isolation and introspection. The conclusion - things have to change.

Here it is Sunday and the only person that thought to call me was Dan....the one that has started to call me more often now that he's broken up with his two month fling. The fling that gives hand job massages under a false name.

My date never happened. Stupid ass never got back to me after thursday. And I checked yahoo and my phone like a pathetic bitch. JESUS! And Cedric...wow. For the first time, he makes me really think about being with him, after I stayed up until 3am on a worknight. He tells me he loves me, and hearing those words... The next night, he said "it's not like I'm coming to Indy and falling in love with you"

sometimes I close my lips too tight to hold in a scream.

...something new?

This years love had better last
heaven knows it's high time

And i've been waiting on my own too long
but when you hold me like you do
it feels so right

I start to forget how my heart gets torn
when that hurt gets thrown, feeling like you can't go on

Turning circles when time again,
it cuts like a knife oh yeah

If you love me, got to know for sure.

Cause it takes something more this time,
than sweet, sweet lies,
before I open up my arms and fall.
losing all control

Every dream inside my soul,
and when you kiss me on that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet, singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last

So who's to worry
if our hearts get torn,
when that hurt gets thrown?

Don't you know this life goes on,
and won't you kiss me on that midnight street?

Sweep me off my feet, singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last