What is trust, and how exactly is it earned? Is it that someone proves themselves over a set amount of time to be one way or another? What exactly is this 'set' time and does it change on the circumstances involved?
It's so difficult trusting Adam; it's not because of anything he's done, it's just me. I promised myself that I would never allow myself to be vulnerable again, but promises made during a bad breakup aren't realistic. By not allowing myself to be vulnerable, I'll never truly love again. Knowing that, why can't I let go of my mistrust?
We've decided, more like I've decided to go the open relationship route. I sometimes wonder at my reasoning behind it. Could it be that I assume that he's going to cheat anyway and this just brings it out in the open. Could it be that I feel if I let him sleep with anyone he wants, he'll not feel inclined to leave me? Or could it be by allowing him this freedom, I'm using it to keep that distance between us so that I won't care for him as much as I could?
I've always hated finding some trait within myself that's disgusting. Basically I'm afraid. I'm afraid because he's everything I've ever wished for in a partner.
He's honest, sexy, funny, intelligent, silly, serious, hardworking, compassionate, goofy, witty, stubborn, insightful, clean, sarcastic, and just so right. Even his imperfections are right for me.
There are some minor issues like our age difference - 11 years and that he's a total gay newbie. To most that would enhance it, but to me...it's a recipe for disaster. Why am I doing it then?
Because to love is to dance.....which is to be free