Lost

We sat in his parents house on the floor. Both of us laying against the soft carpet looking through D&D books. I, having just played the night before for the first time, was fascinated by the game. I was asking questions about the spells and how they worked. Whispering Wind didn't make sense to me, so I asked him how it would be used.

Raymond goes, "Say Raphael wanted to send you a message but you were far away. He'd just cast the spell and you'd hear it by your ear" The message - 'Rob, you're a fat ass.' We laughed.

I wish I could send a message to Raymond now. Oh how much I miss him. I'm feeling lost in my life without having him to turn to. I can't call him at work and gossip about my friends. I can't get advice on how to handle boyfriends. I can't ever hear his laugh again cause he's dead.

It's nearly been a year since his death and I still haven't accepted it. This was one of my two best friends since I was 16. All these memories, all these things unsaid, all these things I have to do alone. It hurts.