hope not

AC not working, fridge not working, electricity in back bedroom not work.  Feel like giving up.  Scheduled repair for fridge in August but now might have to spend it on central air.

After three weeks of silence, Randy sends a face pic ...after I sent a vulgar text hoping he'd get the point.  On the phone now listening to John bitch about his girlfriend / same shit. 

At least I'm playing D&D.

It's been really hot the past week.  Was looking forward to a big cold front today with severe storms - it lasted about 20 minutes with barely any thunder.  Cooled down outside to 73, but house taking longer. Per John, the AC wasn't clogged with fur but something is definitely wrong.

Best part of the day; feeding my dogs table food and their look of adoration/gratitude.

I fear I've stretched my stomach more than I should. Jeeze I hope not.

livid

So fucking livid right now.  Waited all day for the fridge repair guy to show up - he arrived five minutes before end of window.  From the start he acted like it was inconvenience. Asshole was looking around my house then asked me if I lived alone.

He didn't even take the back off the fridge before he started taking "hundreds of dollars" and "not worth it".  He then started talking like it would be over the max listed on the phone call.  I told him my limit was 425 and that ended that. 

Then the fucker insisted on a 70 call out charge and he didn't even diagnose the problem.  Five minutes after leaving, I stopped payment on the charge. 

Therm reading 78.  John said he was coming to look at it tomorrow morn.

Eric said he can't come over til end of July - 4 months now.  Told him I wouldn't ask again.

Fuck everyone

in short

July 15th - Something happened on this day in 2005 but it's not worth spending time on, neither is he.

In short...

I think Randy finally got the point - I don't thin he'll be contacting me again.  Same ole routine with John. Eric still too busy and DeWayne still delusional.  Weight loss has plateaued.

Met two new guys that joined my game; one is so chill he looks high, the other is a ginger funnyman.  Of course I flirted - can't help myself. 

Fridge repair estimate tomorrow - That'll cost me

fire in the sky

Sitting in the dark while fireworks explode outside like the sting of an insult. Felling a bit like I'm in limbo.  Car battery is dead, fridge is dead but at least I'm comfortable in my distress. 

Spoke with Sandrah; she's not doing so well.  Eric is on another family trip and John keeps venting about bullshit that he won't fix. 

I suddenly want ice cream

blah

There are so many things to do but I keep putting them off.  It's gotten really hot which gives me even more reason to not do anything.  It took me three days to go get a script waiting for me.

I've not texted Eric since last Tuesday.  I really don't see the point.  It's just me saying something witty, then probing to see when we can hook up again then one of his excuses.  Setting in that I allowed myself to be used in desperation to feel ... anything.

John got an ultimatum to get a full time time in two weeks or move out.  First he was typically john about it, now he's caving.  Another one I should just fade.

Speaking of which, I actually told Randy I still loved him. It was more of an expletive during a text, but in retrospect, I think we both knew what I meant. Why can't I forget him?

My game is set to start on the 13th and the closer it gets, the more anxious I feel.  My house needs major cleaning and all I want to do is lay here...cocooned.