Disenchantment

I've often said that to be gay, or pretty much anything outside the norm, one must be a little crazy.  Then for awhile, I thought everyone is part of something that is outside this collective; now I believe there are those that have more than half in the common and those that are so far left of center, they are special creatures.

Not sure if I can articulate this dis associative feeling I have from those around me.  Whether it's familial happiness to holidays, to having children and the zombie like adulation for capitalism.  Am I being judgmental, perhaps,....but so much disgusts me about the greed, villainy and general abuse of those I see daily.

When I was younger, I still believed in fantasies, dreams and goodness.  As I got older, it turned to hope, now it's just disenchantment.

Under Pressure

I'm leaning towards quitting my job.  It's too stressful trying to juggle 30 hours a week, plus log in time 15 minutes per day, dialysis three times a week, dr appointments and four dogs that won't stay quiet.

The money was nice and it afforded me the opportunity to buy things, but what does that mean when I can't enjoy anything.  Each morning I'd wake and dread the time for work, always counting down the minutes left.  Then I couldn't sleep thinking about all the bullshit with their vmware issues.  Last Tuesday, even got an error message that their windows 7 desktop wasn't authentic.

My lousy trainer didn't submit the ada forms to have hours reduced to 20 and tried to call me out in the main employee chat board.

On top of that, the viagra didn't work and Eric was disappointed - not added to anxiety at all thanks.  I'm taking the next step by getting a consult for the injection. Let's hope it'll be somewhat covered because of medical issues.

Also got tested for celiac disease....ugh