goodbye steven

Standing at the door of the Pink Flamingo crying in the rain,
It was a kind of so-so love,
and I’m gonna make sure it doesn’t happen again.

You and I had to be the standing joke of the year.

You were a sleep around,
a lost and found, and not for me I feel.

Take your hands off me!
I don’t belong to you, you see.
And take a look in my face for the last time.

I never knew you,
you never knew me.

Say hello goodbye,
Say hello and wave goodbye.

We tried to make it work.
You in a cocktail skirt, and me in a suit,
but it just wasn’t me.

You’re used to wearing less,
and now your life’s a mess,
so insecure you see.

I put up with all the scenes,
and this is one scene that’s going to be played my way.

Say hello and wave goodbye

Under the deep red light,
I can see the make-up sliding down.

Well hey little boy you will always make up lies,
so take off that unbecoming frown.

As for me, well I’ll find someone who’s not going cheap in the sales.
A nice little boyfriend who’ll give me a steady life,
and not keep going off the rails,

Say hello and wave goodbye

I never knew you, ... you never knew me.

birthday

I turn 36 today. I awoke early in a panic early this morning. No special day ahead for me, no special person to somehow make me smile when I wanted to stay in bed all day.

Two years ago, Adam came home from work and made me cry. His kindness was so overwhelming. I still think about him everytime I listen to the portable.

One year ago, Steven gave me the most wonderful date I've ever experienced. Oh how I long to be driving again and holding someone's hand like I held his.

This year, I've really no one. There are people in my life....marginally.

I really need to be someone's special guy.