Laying here in the dark, with the man I used to love snoring behind me.  Thinking about love, ...how it overcomes me and then leaves....a hollow within.

Thoughts have been on Randy lately.  Was it really love, or just some long lost desire for a lost youth, a lost friend.....a lost chance at normality?  We really didn't have much in common except d&d, but oh how his brown eyes made me smile.

When I was 18, and the torment of kenneth lay upon me, I thought my life so bleak.  Now, with the amputation, the isolation and the overwhelming desire to avoid people, I know the meaning anew.

It's early morning; blue light sneaks in through my living room window.  The hairs on my arms tingle as the fan blows brisk air over my blanketed and broken body.  Kai is nestled by my side; his tiny paws scratching at my legs as he dreams.

I'm feeling really calm.  Pressing my face into the pillow, the cotton smell envelops me.  I think about how the past few years feel as if I've been in a coma.

As the new leaves of spring push up from wintery slumber; grasping for the promised warming sun, I'm beginning to stir.