Can I take this? Can I take this volatile mood change that seems to be his nature?
He blustered his way into my life, a life that had just gotten used to being single again, and wrecked my concentration. This wonderful detour has taken me back into a place I didn't want to be.
We used to see eachother more often; I haven't seen him since Saturday night and only then because I drove to the bar where he'd called from to cancel plans.
The sad part, is that he warned about this happening. The problems seem to have started when I returned to work. Steven sleeps in most of the day, and his only obligation is a daily NA meeting. I have limited windows of time available and when I try to coordinate something with him, he makes me feel like I'm always asking for his time.
Work is exhausting, especially the commute. I've been taking naps afterwards and waking up drained and emotionally oversenstive. I think I'm a little disappointed because I secretly wished Steven had gotten kicked out and would have moved in. I miss curling up next to him when I wake in the middle of the night.
I do have my reservations though. I feel so stupid for getting involved with a recovering drug addict. I'd just reached a point where Adam wasn't on my mind. I don't get it. He seems so into me when we're around. He was even so interested in what I thought, how I felt. I thought it was finally happening to me.
What to do now? Can I take this detachment? Can I take this longing? Can I?