imagination

It’s the witching hour here, all is quiet…all is still except the myriad reflections cast by the slow moving lava lamp in my room. This room is empty, lacking memories. I thought I could sleep here and not be reminded of moments past.

Like that moment our lips first touched, me shaking as I gave myself to you. Or the moment you lay sleeping against me, while I watched your face and marveled at how beautifully peaceful it could be. There are many moments emblazoned in these blue eyes. They burn red with images of you.

I’m imagining you in the mountains. You’re in the back seat and stark, white peaks encompassing as you silently sit, staring out at the winding path and where it might take you. I also imagine your thoughts lingering on how this twisting, curving voyage is like your life. Never knowing where it might go, and only able to see the immediate future. In my vision, the sun breaks, sending it’s warming embrace down just for you.

I close my eyes, and I imagine you.

and finally be free

And I will never see the truth,
this is not a matter of my youth.
I do not need anybody else,
bonds would put my mind into cells.

And I will never know I was wrong,
never listen to those truly strong.
I do not fear anything that's not me,
ignorance is the ultimate key.

But I wouldn't want to live like this forever.
but change myself?

never..... , never!

The very thought sends shivers down my spine.
I'm sure everything, ...

everything will be fine.

I am the one who cries out at night,
for somebody to change my very core.
Not sure why I live in endless fright,
doomed to love only myself for evermore.

I am the one who has no real friends,
shallow people flocking to my banner.
Always trying to make easy amends,
cherishing my own overbearing manner.

Life - always fragile.
I will never change.
Love - always fleeting.
I will never change.

Life - always fragile.
I will never change.
Love - always fleeting.
I will never change.

But I wouldn't want to live like this forever.
maybe I really was too clever.

But I wouldn't want to end like that.
I would die lonely and incredibly sad.

I will never drag myself out of this,
the shadows of my past bogging me down.
feeling lost in turmoil and crisis,
my face forever set in an endless frown.

I have been hurt beyond mental repair,
thence destined to suffer eternal damnation.
no one can be there for me to care,
but without I will never find salvation.

lust - always empty.
but I will never change.
death - always tempting.
but I will never change.

lust - always empty.
but I will never change.
death - always tempting.
but I will never change.

everything is about control.
I must never slip, nor ever fall.
anything is possible for me.
I must never doubt, and finally be free.

and finally be free.