Tuesday, October 18, 2005

3 Months

3 Months Today. I gave myself three months to be rid of it.

As if attempting to cling on to some last shred of futility, I received a message that Adam was having problems with his boyfriend. My heart lept - was this it? Was this the end for him and Scoot, was he coming back?

And then something odd happened. This feeling overcame me, I got annoyed at how much it would disrupt my life again. For the first time in months, I didn't wholly want him back.

We've traded emails and he emphatically states they're fine, but I know better.

I smile knowing that thy will be done, so mote it be.

hehehe, it's coming.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

beautiful ones

Fireworks were a day away. Speeding down the road. In the backseat, letting the wind blow over my face like when I was a child. Adam had just seen how really blue my eyes are, because they were looking at him.

A memory played over the stereo, and it became a new one.

It became a prophecy.

Baby, baby, baby
What's it gonna be
Baby, baby, baby
Is it him or is it me?
Don't make me waste my time
Don't make me lose my mind baby

Baby, baby, baby
Can't u stay with me tonight
Oh baby, baby, baby
Don't my kisses please u right
U were so hard 2 find
The beautiful ones, they hurt u everytime

Paint a perfect picture
Bring 2 life a vision in one's mind
The beautiful ones
Always smash the picture
Always everytime

If I told u baby
That I was in love with u
Oh baby, baby, baby
If we got married
Would that be cool?

U make me so confused
The beautiful ones
U always seem 2 lose

Baby, baby,
Baby, baby,
Baby, baby,
What's it gonna be baby?

Do u want him?
Or do u want me?
Cause I want u
Said I want u
Tell me, babe
Do u want me?
I gotta know, I gotta know
Do u want me?
Baby, baby, baby
Listen 2 me
I may not know where I'm going (babe)
I said I may not know what I need
One thing, one thing's 4 certain baby
I know what I want, yeah
and if it please u baby
please u, baby
I'm begging down on my knees
I want u
Yes I do
Baby, baby, baby, baby
I want you

Yes I do