sleep comes down.

"must have been asleep for days".....the cure

I think i've been awake a total of 10 hours since tuesday.  The guys came over and created characters, and we're trying to play on sundays so katie can play.  I hope it works out, just miss her smiled and fiendish pixieishness.

John's wife has been out of town all week, and he came over to watch Columbiana Christmas day.  Midway through the movie, it stopped so I tried burning it as a regular dvd.  While waiting, I started rubbing on john's nether parts, and he came.   Um...so much for my sorta scheduled event.   I don't know why i initate sex with him, then want to quite because i'm not into it.   I don't really feel like i'm into sex at all anymore.  Most of time, I just immerse myself in music and 'feeling' .....something.

I've had too much time to think while on this break from school.  It's really sank in how alone, .....scratch, scratch....how utterly alone we really are.  My mother is selfish and will never be there for me.   I don't have anyone special in my life....and then i started worrying what if something happens to me, what about sophie.   argh.

I'm having to reteach myself basic algebra so that I can at least qualify to take the intermediate class.  I've got 18 lessons that need completed by next tuesday at 5:30. 

I feel so friggin huge.   maybe I should go back to sleep.