transition

Everyday is a little better than before, especially if you spend it getting away from yourself.
Jason and I went to Chicago this weekend for market days. I'd heard about it a couple of years back from someone that lived there and finally made it.

Yes I couldn't afford it and yes it was a hasty decision, but I still went. There is this guy named Mark that I'd been wanting to meet for a couple of years. He first emailed me on some personals site and we'd maybe talked three or four times but never anything direct. He's a cutie, but partnered so little to no prospects in that department.

It was amazing. The first time I was there I was overwhelmed and saw very little of the city. We stayed at the Days Inn close to Lincoln Park. I even rode the bus - first time in nearly 15 years. That was an experience.

Market days is an annual event that's in Boystown - gay part of Chicago. There was wall to wall people and all them so interesting. We ran into some people we both knew and some we'd only seen online. The big event for me though was finally meeting Mark at Touche's.

We got there around midnight and as there was a line, we went next door to The Jackhammer. I got some looks, I think....I'm never too sure about that. After one drink, we went and stood in the line to get into Touche's. Jason met up with his friend Ben and they went back to Jack's because they wanted to get their drink on.

I waited maybe 20 more minutes and finally got in. It wasn't as crowded as I thought but still alot of people. I know I definitely got some looks in there as it's a bear/chubby bar. Quickly scanning the front, I went to the back. There was Mark amongst a crowd of people but more specifically talking to some older, big guy.

I introduced myself and we hugged. Oh he smelt and felt so good. His beard is perfect and his eyes so soft and sensitive. He was a bit distracted by the other guy and I wasn't having it. I took my shirt off and that cemented his attentions.

We left the bar and then took the subway back up Clark St. Immediately I started kissing on him playing out some Risky Business fantasy on the redline. At the hotel, we took a shower and then played a bit on the bed. Heh, he video tapped us and took some pics. I felt oddly self-concious yet turned on about how he reacted to me. And then I started thinking about Adam and tried very hard not too.

His friend Patrick came back with someone so we had to conclude our interlude, heh...never got to use that word before. I took a cab home feeling kinda playfully sexy and amused.

Jason and Ben came in later and a bit buzzed. It was hard sleeping as there was no fan and my babies weren't laying against me.

We decided to leave the next day early. Jason is becoming a really good friend to me. More and more I find myself thinking about him. It's too bad that he and his partner of six years just broke up. I love them both.

After making it home, we talked a bit and watched Closer. It brought out some emotions I'd tried to bury about this whole breakup thing. Then the finale of Queer as Folk really set me over. There have been so many endings this past month - Breaking up with Adam, Steven moving out, and the end of summer.

I still miss Adam so very much. That boy got under my defense some how. I wish things could have been different....I still hope that he'll come back. It's like I'm sad and happy at the same time. It boils under the surface.

I start my new job tomorrow at Anthem insurance. It's close to my house but still kinda downtown. I'm nervous yet hopeful about it.

After several chapters are ending, maybe this is the beginning of something new for me.