colder

my nights are so long now. I don't notice sleeping alone anymore. I don't notice cooking for only myself and I really don't notice that when I curl up to a pillow, and there's no heat but mine.

I sent an email to Steven telling what I've secretly been wishing since he left. There's been no reply. Maybe that's reply in itself.

Everyone is a fragment of me.

Something's diiferent with my friend Cedric. When I got my school money, I wanted to visit him. I thought we had this cosmic connection thing going on, but all the while he was talking to alot of other guys and eventually went to go visit one. Now that he's back, I find it more difficult to be as open with him. I guess I had hoped more would happen between us.

This stands out more because I've met this other guy, and he's even further away. We had this incredible conversation Friday night - 6 hours. Oh man...he was hot.

I haven't spoken to him since.

I no longer cry when I think about Steven. Rather, there aren't any visible tears - the whether has grown colder, and so have I.