over

I hugged my mother today. I'm not sure why.

Day 3 since I had a text from Randy, Day 13 since he came by the house. I follow her tweets to see how much she's got to do and I think how fucking hateful she gets her life still after destroying two of the three things I cared most about in this world.

I know Randy is hoping we'll make up, but how could we? She apparently hates me and I've rediscovered my fear of being close to anyone. I struggle everyday with my anger vs disappointment. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Either way, mourning over, time to start picking up the pieces.