Maybe ten, but definitely twenty years ago my hands would be a blur of words I thought eloquent, on how the past few weeks have been an exercise in futility. In reality, it all seems so translucent, like the evaporating fog of a medicore memory.

Several truths remain: I still dolt over Randy when I know better, I still know that when I buy something, I usually have an unexpected expense when I can't afford it, and finally, that creeping feeling of dread as old age and infirmity begin to take hold.

I'm slowly watching Eukas die and I fear I'm too selfish and afraid to have to euthanize her yet. She has good and bad days but the cancer is growing obvious. Shadow is almost completely deaf and needs soft food b