peace with myself.

a week of extremes. First, the bad. I discovered a diabetic ulcer on my big toe friday morning. It really freaked me out; had visions of gangreen and amputations. I called off from work and rushed to the doctor. Several times I broke down while driving my my lovely friend Katie got me laughing. Thank god for her.

I have no one to blame but myself really. I have not been consistent with my insulin, nor have I taken my metformin. And honestly, that peanut butter I've been buying, or that chocolate bar as sympathy food isn't helping either. So here I was, with an open wound on my toe and didn't even know it. I need, have to take care of this. I can't be that person anymore.

I'm on antibiotics 4 times a day, and having to wear one of those funky chinese shoes. We'll see friday how things are going, but I see a difference already. The doctor didn't seem overly concerned, but maybe he realized I was in a state. I was afraid my puppy sophie had broken the skin and it got infected, but the dr told me it was a pressure would. He showed me how my toe isn't as flexible as my other, and that I'd been putting too much pressure one it. Couple that with the diabetes, and a "bed sore" happened. I need to get better shoes.

Now for the good news, and dare I say it? I met this really, sexy, cool, funny guy online about a week ago. I must confess I'm smittened. We'lll see how it goes though. I have little faith in meeting guyss online; something always seems to happen. I need to stay based in reality, but not too critical either. The more i find about about him, the more I like. Even his faults are cute.

Here are the holidays, and I've at least tried to make peace with my family. Theresa accepted, Diane did not. All that matters is that I have peace with myself.

and I'm absolutely in love with my puppy. even if she's a biter and I've got two facial wounds.