atmosphere

bitterly cold and isolated. I go from heated frustration to sleepy contemplation.

Randy's girlfriend was out of town this weekend and I thought I'd have randy to hang with, but I spent the week alone anyway. First he than katie stands me up. The week was spent watching movies and drinking lots of tea. I'm reintroduced to online chat rooms. So Saturday comes, and with Angie's return, he suddenly wants me to come to the pub. The kenneth cycle all over again?

John has been mumbling about leaving his wife, and I have even asked myself how I feel. I really don't believe him anyway so putting thought in the matter would be useless.

Randy and I had an intense conversation tuesday during lunch. I had no idea he was so conflicted on personal issues. I also wish I could put it down in writing but I guess someone reading this, someone without any real life, could use it. God I wish they would just move on

I guess everything is so black and white for him .- all or nothing. I promised him that I'd back him, but secretly...i'm torn by his impending departure. what do I do now?