five minutes

how do we fixate, how do me covet?

His smile chases away the stormclouds, his eyes bring the rain. I actually said that to him.

In that awful moment where fate was decided, he stood just out of reach as icy rain fell on his face. His dark eyes caught the glare of a random streetlight, and grinning, he said "and it's those five minutes that dictate our lives."

my lessons unlearned, wisdom cast aside, ... I wanted him. oh how it aches in my core. I know better. and yet, I fly directly into that flame.

It's for the best. It's hard to say if those five minutes are worth it, when everytime it happens, I lose someone.

I can't lose him. He's all I have left besides my girls.