weight

it's weighing down on me
his touches grow more infrequent
and last night, advances were not returned
they seemed tolerated, polite carresses given in return
no hand holding in the car
in fact, when I put my hand on his leg, he pulled his hands upward.

and now, he's going back to virginia for a week
a bus ride funded by his family
and now I know how much time I've left.