and so it is

Old cycles return, habits formed long ago resurface. I found myself sitting stealthfully in the muted light of his computer. Trying not to press the keys too heavily, I search through his files for any indication of worries manifest.

There it was; several emails to local guys and even one to a guy named Jim asking if he had yahoo messenger beccause Steven was horny.

That sinking feeling, surprising yet oh so familiar started spreading like some demonic weed, taking root in my very soul and devouring all my rationality and desire to believe in him.

I went into the bedroom and began the question game. Unlike the others, he admitted it but stated it was just flirting and nothing further happened from it. Then he said he thought it was time he moved.

I stopped to see how I would feel. I didn't feel much.

so...

he said he wouldn't do it again, and I the same.

I didn't want to repeat this. ...but I think I am.